The boy sees her bush and asks, "Mommy what is that?" The mother, thinking quickly, simply says, "Why that's my sponge, sweetie." The boy then says, "Oh yeah! The babysitter also has one." Apalled, the mother asks, "How do you know something like that?" The boy responds with, "I know because I saw her washing daddy's face the other day."

It's the breakfast of champignons.

The 5 stages of buying petrol.

He orders a quarter pounder.

cos it's full of sliced singles, individually wrapped in plastic.

An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail." A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic. Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste." Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor: "This is Gasoline!" Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500." The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money. Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!" Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500." The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back. Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak." Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note. Doctor: "But this is $500..." Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."

Two nuns were walking down an alleyway when a flasher jumps out. The first nun had a stroke but the second couldn't reach.

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you." The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise. "Ha, ha!" he says, "I'm the man from the bus!" "Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume, "I'm the bus driver!" -

A man and his son go to the drugstore when they run into the condom section.

"Dad, what are these?"

The dad decide to tell the truth: "Well, those are condoms. They're for protection when you're having sex."

The son then picks up one of the packs and asks why it has three in it.

"That's a 3-pack of condoms, Son, for high school kids. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night, and 1 for Sunday night."

"What about the 6-pack, Dad?"

"Those are for the college kids. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday night."

"What about the 12-pack then?"

"Those are for the married men: 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March..."

She declined.

Never mind actually. It's boring.

He ate pizza before it was cool.

A husband and wife are having a friendly debate one night, centered on the topic of who has better friends. They each offer a wide variety of anecdotes and stories, but in the end, they decide to put it to the test.

"Here's what we'll do," the wife suggests. "I'll call your friends, and you call mine. We'll both pretend that the other person hasn't come home yet, and that we're worried. Whoever's friends give the best advice about where to find us clearly know us better, and therefore *are* better."

The husband agrees to the game, and they both head off into separate rooms. When they reconvene a half an hour later, the husband looks defeated.

"Well, honey," he says, "I think it's pretty clear that you have better friends. Every one of them listed each of your favorite restaurants, salons, shops, and art galleries, and they had phone numbers for each of them. They knew your work hours by heart, your office extension, your boss's name, and even the route that you take home."

The wife shakes her head. "No, dear," she replies, "*you* have better friends."

"Why do you say that?" asks the husband.

"Well," the wife replies, "most of them said that you'd been at their place, and three of them said that you were still there."

Slow clap.

Knock knock....

Who's there?....

Whale....

Whale who?

Whale that's enough of that joke

Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging.

Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)

And then it hit me.

Because they were Russian!