A French breast scientist advises against wearing bras after a thorough study, thus tying for the best job ever and the best news ever.
A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. #suckit #nohomo #somehomo #yeshomo
Kit Kat has released a limited run of new flavors, including Sweet Corn, Espresso, and Kit Cat (with real Cat!).
Obama has budgeted $100million for NASA to lasso an asteroid- $99mill for rope and $1mill for the greatest cowboy hat of all time.
A Russian man attempted to win back his ex-wife with a homemade bomb. Here's an exclusive photo of the couple: http://i.imgur.com/uuJTNmK.jpg
During a shooting, cops recommend going for the gunman, because nothing's scarier than being rushed by someone who just shit them self.
A third live poultry trading market has been shut down in China after six strange bird flu deaths. Personally, I think they're just chicken.
As a living human, you have a .00002% chance of being a billionaire. Jim Carrey reports: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMRrNY0pxfM
Muslims are once again calling for the death of bloggers who blaspheme their religion of peace. "Jesus Christ that's stupid," said Muhammad.
An auction for a baseball card ended at $2.1million, meaning a fucking baseball card nearly joined the nation's wealthiest 1%.
Japan is now selling synthetic schoolgirl pee for only $27, severely undercutting the market for organic schoolgirl pee.
Scientists - "Being launched into a black hole would lead to a fiery death or spaghettification." Everyone else - "Sounds cool as FUCK."
An Italian couple in financial distress committed suicide. "Hopefully these tragic deaths trickle down to more poor people," said the rich.
A former Vice-Mayor in Tennessee gave dozens of women the classic "drive 90mph while masturbating out the window," which is a crime now?
Trayvon Martin's family settled their wrongful death suit for over $1mill. No word on how they'll spend the money, but likely not Skittles.
All based on real news from this week. See more @FridayUpdate on twitter.
Edit: removed link shorteners. Sorry!
A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. #suckit #nohomo #somehomo #yeshomo
Kit Kat has released a limited run of new flavors, including Sweet Corn, Espresso, and Kit Cat (with real Cat!).
Obama has budgeted $100million for NASA to lasso an asteroid- $99mill for rope and $1mill for the greatest cowboy hat of all time.
A Russian man attempted to win back his ex-wife with a homemade bomb. Here's an exclusive photo of the couple: http://i.imgur.com/uuJTNmK.jpg
During a shooting, cops recommend going for the gunman, because nothing's scarier than being rushed by someone who just shit them self.
A third live poultry trading market has been shut down in China after six strange bird flu deaths. Personally, I think they're just chicken.
As a living human, you have a .00002% chance of being a billionaire. Jim Carrey reports: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMRrNY0pxfM
Muslims are once again calling for the death of bloggers who blaspheme their religion of peace. "Jesus Christ that's stupid," said Muhammad.
An auction for a baseball card ended at $2.1million, meaning a fucking baseball card nearly joined the nation's wealthiest 1%.
Japan is now selling synthetic schoolgirl pee for only $27, severely undercutting the market for organic schoolgirl pee.
Scientists - "Being launched into a black hole would lead to a fiery death or spaghettification." Everyone else - "Sounds cool as FUCK."
An Italian couple in financial distress committed suicide. "Hopefully these tragic deaths trickle down to more poor people," said the rich.
A former Vice-Mayor in Tennessee gave dozens of women the classic "drive 90mph while masturbating out the window," which is a crime now?
Trayvon Martin's family settled their wrongful death suit for over $1mill. No word on how they'll spend the money, but likely not Skittles.
All based on real news from this week. See more @FridayUpdate on twitter.
Edit: removed link shorteners. Sorry!
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