A month before my grandfather died we had tried everything to cure him. We then heard you could try covering him head to toe in baby oil - after that he went downhill very quickly.
Husband and wife divorcing.
I the court judge ask husband:
- What is the reason for divorce?
- Unfortunately my wife and me have completely different interests : I interested only in women, and she interested only in men…
Q: If you were forced to go through one of the following doors, which door do you go through with 100 % certainty you'd stay alive: a door with a man with a gun behind it, a door with a tiger who hasn't eaten in 7 years behind it, or a door with an electrical chair behind it?
A: The one with the tiger behind it, because if it hasn't eaten in 7 years it's dead.
(*pensively*):
Hmmm, I guess things are really getting serious between me and my girlfriend, uh, Cecilia, because I just added the song "Cecilia" to my favourites playlist.
(*lightheartedly*):
I mean, I don't even particularly like that song.
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